Outside my window...there's a cloudy sky, that was supposed to somewhat blue. I have lost faith in the weatherman.

I am thinking...that I have a lot of work to get done, but I don't want to do any of it.

I am thankful for...everything that I've undeservingly been given.


From the kitchen...peanut butter and jelly sandwich today, kids.

I am wearing...my favorite pair of jeans, green shirt, and a grey hoodie because it's freezing in my apartment!

I am creating...my resume.

I am going...to fix my hair and put on makeup at some point.

I am reading...The Tenant of Wildfell, As Lay Dying, and I'll be starting Lolita in a few days.

I am hoping...to be accepted to SLI, make an almost 4.0 GPA this semester.

I am hearing...Keller Williams and his stereophonic goodness.

Around the house...Autumn is singing, CNN background noise, the hum of the refigerator.

One of my favorite things...snuggling with Pat on a day like this.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Twelfth Night tonight, church tomorrow, homework all week.

A picture to share...



That was a good night.

And God continues to work in me, giving me the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. He creates in me a pure heart, and renews a steadfast spirit within me.

That's what I keep telling myself. It's not that I don't believe it, because I KNOW that's what is happening. Sometimes, though, I wonder when will it be my time? My time to shine? You'll probably laugh when you hear where my feelings started today--realizing I don't have enough money to buy cloths off of a CLEARANCE rack. Yeah, that's me. God, when am I going to be able to buy my own clothes, and not wear the same ones FOREVER? I'm talking about, buy. my. own. clothes., and not depend on Patrick's money?

I have the Tuesday blahs.

Just a quick update.

Lately, I've been praying for God to show me who I am. Of course, I know who I am...I'm Annabel, I go to Wesleyan, I'm the second daughter of 4, I have a boyfriend named Patrick and he's the bomb. That's cool, that's the Annabel you see in the store, or the Annabel you see in class, but what I want to know is who Annabel is according to Christ. Who am I deep down? Since I've been in school, in tiny moments, God has shown me a peek--a quick glance at who I can be, and who I am. I've noticed a fine line, and it isn't pretty. It doesn't take much to "switch tables", as my pastor would say. I've gotten caught up in the world, acting and being the Annabel who is just like everyone else. However, I'm deeper than that, I'm smarter than that. I prefer to eat at the table with Christ, rather than the one that's full.

And school is back in! Actually, we've been going strong for about three weeks now. I think. So far, so good! Though I've been extremely busy--busier than I've been the past two years, I've really had a good time. I almost feel as if it's Freshman year all over again. In the past 3 weeks, I've had to learn some things about myself. I've had to learn about as much as the first 3 weeks of being a freshman. Oh, yeah...growing pains always suck, but atleast I'm growing!

In fact, today is one of those days. I'm here by myself. Roomates are gone, Patrick's out of town, my parent's are out of town. I feel extremely lonely. I've even had a crying session, just all by myself. Even now, if I think about it too much, I still get a little misty eyes. I'm such a baby. I just don't like the feeling of being alone. Ever. I don't think I ever could live by myself. I truly believes that's one of the MANY reasons God placed Patrick in my life. With him, I'll always have someone. Awwww! Mushy gushy!

Anyway, I don't want to update too much, I don't feel like. I need to go REEEEEAD!

It's five days after my birthday, and 20 doesn't feel that much different than 19. I don't think the getting older part of my birthday was what I was dreading so (I mean, 20 is NOT old.), but instead I always dread the present giving time. 1) I don't feel like I deserve any presents 2) I don't like that people who may or may not have the money may or may not feel obligated to get me a gift. All in all, I got what I did want- a t.v. from Patrick for my room in the apartment. Woo hooo! Really, I'm a lucky girl to have him (even though, like this morning, he can be sort of a turd).

Now, I must go find some coffee. I'm in desperate need.

20 is around the corner

Hey! Monday's my birthday! I'll officially be out of the teenage years! Actually, it's kind of sad...I don't want to be a grown-up!! Can we spin the dial back? Not that 20 is old at all, but it is kind of scary thinking about in just two years I'll be graduating from college, getting a real job, and getting married (living with Patrick, eeeeek! Just kidding!) Fortunately, and most definitely, kiddies are more in the 4-5 year range. I don't want to even try to think about that...okay, I've got to stop. I'm scaring myself.

(Will grad school keep the real world at bay for just a little bit longer???)

Anywho, it's been a boring weekend, and the forecast predicts it'll stay the same. Not doing too much celebrating of the birthday--whatever happens, happens.

O' the boredom!

So, it's almost 9:30 on a Thursday night, and I'm so bored I'm seriously about to lose it! I'm even in one of those sad/lonesome music moods, and I'm not even that sad or that lonesome! Got...to...snap...out of it! :D

Tomorrow looks better. Though it'll be raining, I have to go to the eye doctor (new contacts!!!)and then head over to the church with Patrick to help decorate the Family Life Center for a luncheon on Sunday.

Okay, I must go read!